BART VAN SCHAGEN
SEPARATING & MOVING ON
We've been together for a long time and have two beautiful kids. From the outside, everything looks great. But I'm not happy. I don't want to be with him anymore.
Our mediation process is tense and difficult. I don’t know how we can agree and make decisions together, because we can’t communicate and don’t trust each other.
He already has a new girlfriend! He wants to introduce her to our children, but I haven't even met her yet. It's all happening too quickly. It's difficult and painful.
My partner wants a divorce, but I don't want to lose him! I'm heartbroken. My life has been turned upside down. I don't know how I'll cope financially, and I'm afraid of the future.
She cheated on me! I'm angry and hurt. I never want to see her again, but she's the mother of our children, so we will always be connected. I don't think I can handle it.
We divorced over 5 years ago, but I don't get to see my children as much as I want. She doesn't stick to our agreements or keep her promises. I just don't trust her.
You are not alone! There are thousands of stories like this; people who are struggling with the emotional impact through every stage of divorce.
Are you considering divorce?
In the middle of a divorce?
Or are you already divorced?
You need a trusted ally to support you and give you clarity. Wherever you are on this journey, divorce not only affects you and your partner but your children, family, and friends. You may be getting conflicting advice or feel ashamed. As your personal guide, I'll walk you through every stage of your separation and help you move on to a new life.
My mission is to help as many people as possible move on confidently after their divorce.
During the intensive one-day coaching program , Bart gave me more insight into our separation process. He provided various practical tools to improve our negotiations and advised me about my communication style to better understand and work with my ex-partner. He also gave me tips to reach agreements by taking responsibility for my own part in the failed negotiation.
Bart has an open personality, readily shares his own experiences, and quickly creates a trusting environment. It was indeed an intensive day, but Bart included time to take breaks.
In the months after the intensive one-day coaching program , I consulted Bart about my experiences when applying his advice and tips. That was very valuable because it turns out it's not easy to break the habits of a long relationship.
For the most part me and my ex had a pretty smooth separation, however with regards to my emotions I was feeling a lot of sadness, guilt, grieve for my sons and worries about holding up on arrangements with my ex. Just talking to Bart felt instantly like I was getting psychological air. Read more
He took the time to listen, empathize with what I was going through and he helped me to put my emotions into perspective. Using his own divorce as a reference, he also really helped me to see things from my ex's perspective. He made me aware of the consequences of some of my actions and did not shy away from confronting me, just what I needed.
Bart is a very open, kind and trustworthy man. His understanding and non-judgemental attitude made it easy for me to open up and trust him. In only a few sessions I was able to make big steps forward in my emotional well-being.
The difficult divorce process between me and my ex-partner, the father of my two children, took too long. I got stuck and didn't know how to move forward anymore. I was tired of fighting, just exhausted. We were stuck in the past and unable to separate properly. I have already tried different routes with my ex, from 'parent' therapy to the lawyer. Nothing seemed to help. Read more
I was distraught and called Bart. I was able to tell him my story about the extremely difficult relationship with my ex and he gave valuable tips.
In the days that followed, I stayed in touch and made use of the coaching program.
Bart gave me more insight into the divorce process through practical advice about different communication styles and advice about how I communicate. It’s great because you can put it into practice right away. I also gained more insight into my own part in this process and Bart taught me to deal with appointments, emails, and texts in a more business-like way.
During the conversation with Bart, I quickly felt at ease and he showed me that I am no different from others and that I am worthy of creating a better situation for myself and my children. Bart does not judge, which makes it an open, safe, and pleasant conversation.
I can say that I finally see some light at the end of the tunnel. Bart has helped me with that. I feel better and have found another way to make this process more bearable. I also got the feeling that I am liberated from the situation and that is so valuable to me!
We stay in contact and Bart is very interested in following my progress. I also know that I can always contact him again if I get stuck and that is a great comfort.